The Dried Fish Cube Incident



I’m being described as a drama queen at the moment...a drama queen! There is nothing queenie about me I can tell you, I am a king...a king of all Beardies. 

I expect you’ll want to know why these negative aspersions are being cast upon me... by Nix.  Well...it all started last night after supper when Nix gave me a dried fish cube. Those things are quite sharp but apparently good for my teeth. Anyway I don’t know what happened but something got stuck in my throat. I offer no apologies for ‘careering round the room like a lunatic’ and I offer no apologies for tearing pieces out of my new bed. If Nix was not going to let me out in the garden to eat the plants then I had to get something else down me. Trouble is we all know what happened last time I got something caught in my throat don’t we. I ripped up the bedding in the back of the car and swallowed it and Nix had to search my poop for three days to make sure there was none left lodged inside me.  She wasn’t about to let that happen again. 

After I’d ‘thrown myself around’ for about an hour ripping up anything I could get my paws on including my own leg hair, Nix decided it would be a good idea to take me out. Apparently I was ‘like a lunatic’ ripping up all the grass and decapitating our neighbours plants but it did the trick, I was sick...very sick...on the neighbours driveway.  

I felt a lot better a bit later on and because I’d drunk a lot of water Nix decided to walk round the block with me. Guess who we met...old Baldy. I didn’t recognise him at first as his hair had grown quite a bit. Nix had spotted him and already dragged me into a stranger’s garden to avoid him but that was never going to work and I went into action. You all know what that involves, bucking and rearing and barking and whining. Afterwards Nix said she wasn’t sure which annoyed her the most, my ‘ridiculous behaviour’ or the fact that all that pulling on the lead didn’t seem to be bothering my throat at all. To say she was cross with me is definitely the understatement of the year. I am still paying penance and it’s almost lunchtime. 

I’m asleep on Nix’s lap right now. 





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